Your intention is to motivate a child or employee to do better. You are clear in your mind what you want to achieve and the behavior that you want changed. You expect to be listened to and obeyed! You are right and they are wrong. Someday, they will be grateful that you cared enough to show them what they were doing incorrectly. The only “right way” is “my way.”
Sound familiar? When a situation calls for feedback, we tend to justify our position and come at the situation from a power standpoint. This tends to put the other person in a defensive status and what may have started out as a visit turns into a confrontation, with words and emotions expressed that are not helpful.
Criticism is Hurtful
Ridiculing someone is to mock by making fun or dismissing them in a contemptuous way. Sometimes the ridicule may be verbal as in a criticism; “You just can’t get this through your thick head, can you?” The disrespect may be done in a completely non-verbal but powerful way; rolling your eyes, crossing your arms and leaning back, smirking or looking away when the other person is talking.
Feedback is Helpful
Feedback is intended to provide helpful information for future decisions and development. If you feel that you need to offer pointers on how something should be done, first ask if they would like feedback. If it is offered without judgment or personal attacks, most people will welcome, or at least receive it.
Using the old sales jargon, you can sell any idea without making the recipient feel badly. “I know you feel that it was a hard assignment. I have felt that way when I was asked to do something for the first time and I didn’t understand the instructions. However, I found that when I went back and read the instructions or ask for an explanation, it was much easier and I was able to understand what the boss wanted and was able to do it.
What’s Right, Not What’s Wrong
If you want positive behavior with your family, co workers and friends, encourage what is good and downplay what is wrong or unacceptable. When you focus on something, right or wrong, you will get more of it. It is called the Law of Attraction.
Verbal vs Non-Verbal Language
Verbal or spoken language is the communication of information. Most people only remember about 20% of what is said. Non verbal or body language is the communication of relationships. People look at your facial expressions to see how you really feel about what you are saying and the person you are saying it to. They listen to your tone of voice to gauge how sincere you are.
If others perceive that you are standing in judgment of them, they will be much less likely to be co-operative and be open to suggestions. When you feel that you must offer feedback, touch them lightly on the back or arm to get their attention, look them in the eye and then ask for permission to share your ideas.
Mutual respect is foundation of strong, healthy relationships
As you work with your relationships, you will see that criticism and ridicule does not give you the positive results you were hoping for. Respect, encouragement and kind feedback is much more effective at motivating people and projects than criticism and ridicule.
Never Just One Way To Do Things Before you jump in with an opinion, perhaps it is best to remember there is never just one way to do anything. Every problem or situation has at least five different ways to get it done. Are you absolutely sure that your way is best?
http://law-ofattractioncoach.com/tag/respect-others
Many of us were taught to focus relentlessly on the problems we have in order to solve them. In fact, the opposite works. When we focus intensely on the energy of the problem, it can’t get solved because we are in the vibration of the problem, a completely different frequency than the vibration of the solution.
Are you afraid to “let go” of the problem you are focused on? I know that problems and challenges “grab” our attention, they are very good at that. But we need to find new ways to focus if we are going to have any relief from these challenges. I used to feel afraid that if I’m not monitoring one of my problems, it won’t get fixed or solved. But now I know the opposite is true!
Problems can’t get solved when you are focused
on the vibration of the problem… You must be a
vibrational match to the solution in order
for solutions to appear!
When you have been intensely focused on solving a problem, what can you do to change your vibration and release this focus about the issue? Find ways to help you let go, energetically, of the problem:
(1) Focus on gratitude
(2) Use EFT/ Meridian Tapping on your frustration
(3) Get a change of scene – just do something else!
(4) Relax and meditate
These are just a few of the many options you have to getting yourself out of the way so the solution can present itself to you. Remember, the energy of the solution needs room… and if you’re squeezing it out by focusing all your energy on the dynamics of the problem, the solution can’t show up for you.
So when you feel as if you are wrestling with a really big problem, I invite you to start practicing new behaviors in order to allow the solution to come into your life. It won’t come into your life until you let go of the energy of the problem.
Letting Go works because it:
(1) Releases resistance and tension immediately
(2) Raises your vibration
(3) Allows you to access more creativity
(4) Releases “stuck” energy and opens up new options
Remember, the solution may come from an insight, a burst of creativity, or from an outside source. Regardless of where it comes from, it needs to “see you” as having a frequency that matches it. (Yes, I am talking about solutions as if they have personalities, it’s useful in this discussion!) So, to allow the solution in to your consciousness or awareness,
(1) Focus on anything BUT the problem.
(2) Tap to release any compulsion you feel to focus on the energy of the problem.
(3) Write an appreciation list of other solutions you have experienced in your life.
(4) Act as if (and write a Thank you Universe list) you have already received the solution.
(5) Relax…
Remember, the Law of Attraction sends you situations that have the same energy of the vibration you are paying attention to… so pay attention to possible solutions, or at least distract yourself from the energy of the problem, and you will find what you’re looking for.
http://www.attractingabundance.com
At the moment of quantum awakening, change will occur rapidly, rippling across the terrestrial surface like a wave. Everything in the earth’s gravitational field will be affected in some way. There will be a time of massive change, of change on a scale that has no historical precedent, though it does have antecedents in the prehistoric events of this and of distant worlds. The changes that your generation will experience before it passes the torch to another are more fundamental than those that accompanied the agriculture revolution-and those changes took thousands of years. They are more far-reaching than the changes of industrialization, which took nearly three centuries to transpire. Yet, deep and fundamental, massive though these present changes are, they will occur within the span of just a single life.
Properly understood, these changes and their coming have the ability to inspire a degree of hope and optimism unprecedented in the history of your race; for they spell the end of mankind’s subconscious condition and therefore portend, as the scriptures of the world foretell, an end to bloodshed, starvation, warfare, exploitation, and needless suffering.
Within your lifetime you will witness revelations that will show the foolishness of much that was once deemed wise. You will watch as traditions and historical habit patterns once assumed to be survival imperatives are discovered to be detriment to a healthy life and to a healthy society. Behavior that made sense for creatures who imagined they were islands of individuality is abandoned by those who experience the interconnectivity of all life. The consciousness that is awakening upon this world is no respecter of Darwin values. Its perception brings new values and new ways of being. During these decades you are seeing the descent of the Angels of Healing. Even now, all around you-and perhaps in your own life-they are incarnating. In some cases these are beings who have not known human form since before the descent of historical time.
It is possible that you are among those who have held only a tenuous and flickering connection with your incarnational successions. It is no matter for judgment. Those who incarnate now, those who bring the fullness of their eternal talents, attributes, and perspectives into today’s people, are the agents of healing. They alone have it in their power to experience this awesome time of transition as glorious or traumatic. All are invited to remember their essence, their purpose, their reason for being here, and to bring through into this age of transition the sense of celebration that invariable accompanies such remembrance.
Our numbers upon the earth have grown rapidly since our first large-scale arrivals began in the late 1960’s. Yet it is not quantity, not numbers that will make the difference, but the quality of our compassion, the quality of the love that radiates from our hearts. Every individual who becomes a clear and undistorted channel for eternal love into these times offsets a thousand who remain locked in the dissolving values of the old.
We are rapidly dispelling what remains of human illusion, helping all to identify with the growing currents, the energies and the forces of love and life. You are already living in the dawning of the age of Planetary Awakening, the age of peace and community building. It is here now for the most sensitive to its fragrance, texture, majesty, and vision. The age has begun when the earth is to be cultivated like a flower garden and her gifts presented as conscious offerings to the gardeners of eternal beauty, the age when humankind return its gifts to the earth, to her soil, her streams, her mountains, her oceans, her creatures of water, air, fire, and clay.
The future, as always, holds an element of surprise. Yet some things are as certain as the movement of the stars. A mother never knows exactly what hour she will give birth to her child, but since she has a “due date,” an approximate time when the baby is expected and will most likely be born. For millennia now there have been those in various traditions of both East and West who have known that the earth has a due date something during the second decade of the twenty-first century. Though there will be much awakening of individuals prior to the first unified movement of the awakened planetary organism, this movement, like a first breath, will occur in but a single moment. It is then that the Star Maker will consciously awaken in all systems of human biocircuitry capable of sustaining universal awareness.
Babies are sometimes born early, sometimes late. So be aware, be vigilant. Do not discount the possibility that the moment might come as a thief in the night. And do not be among the foolish who will wait until the last moment to come to terms with the rising awareness. This is to be an important occasion. It is the event that is central to all of human history. Our emphasis for many thousands of years now has been and continues to prepare you for this single moment. For though the changes will be dramatic, they need not be traumatic.
Though they will bring a fundamental human revisiting of reality’s nature, this need not be perceived as threatening. Essentially, it is a positive and joyous event. The consciousness that will eventually emerge will be the consciousness of the Eternal One, the Creator, the Being of Life, awake and aware for the first time inside a material universe. Human circuitry is designed to accommodate this consciousness. In much the same way that your individual cells understand their relationship to you, each awakened human being understands him- or herself in hologramatic relationship to this unified field of awareness.
Since this perception of self differs significantly from historical perception, its emergence in collective human consciousness presents the potential of disorientation in those who might react to its coming in fear. We have much to do before the preparation of human consciousness is complete. Still, even if the awakening were to occur in this very moment with no further preparation, it would be an event of unprecedented beauty. However, in that case fewer people would be in a position to appreciate it. We wish to maximize enjoyment and minimize discomfort for all concerned. If human beings understand more fully what is occurring, they will be less likely to react in ways that would cause them unnecessary discomfort.
Regardless of whether one accepts this change or attempts to back away from it, this event will be of greater power than any the earth has ever seen. More energy will be released in a very few moments than is typically released upon the surface of the earth in many years. This energy will take the form of heightened perception and deepened emotional connection, rejoining the individual and God.
Though this unprecedented time of intensified energy radiation still lies a few years before you, you are already near enough to it and the event will be so powerful that time is behaving with increasing subjectivity, bubbling and warping, creating islands of the future wherever there are those who deliberately invoke the energies of the emerging consciousness and demonstrate willingness to live their lives in love.
These are not disconnected islands beneath the receding seas of historical illusion. They are united in a veritable continent of rising awareness. As the new reality comes fully into human consciousness (at that moment when the Creator’s luminous field comes into perfect alignment with the Earth Mother), all illusion of destructive nature will be dissolved. Though there have been many centuries leading up to this moment, when the moment comes it will be decisive.
There will be a great shift then, a single moment of quantum awakening. In this moment, the smallest interval of time measured in these dimensions-this interval that occurs in every atom between each of its billions of oscillations per second-will be lengthened unto infinity. An interval of nontime will expand. Through that expansion eternity will flow. Some will experience this moments as minutes or hours, others as a lifetime. Still others will experience this flash of nontime as a succession of many lives, and some few will, in this moment, know the Nagual itself, the great nameless Presence that exists before and after all these worlds.
In the expanse of the nontime interval, human beings will have all the time they require to realize, experience, and remember full consciousness of their eternal spirits and to recall the origin of their individuality in the primordial fields of being. All will have ample time to recharge their form identity and its biological projection with the awareness of who they are, why they have individualized, and why they have chosen to associate with the planet’s human expression. Each one will have the choice to return to biological form or to remain in the fields of disincarnate awareness.
Those who choose to return to human form will do so fully aware of who they are. No longer will they be but partially incarnate; they will resume biological residence with the full memory and consciousness of their eternal natures, sharing the creative capacities of the Star Maker, whose reflective cells they will then know themselves to be.
Subconscious orientation in fear will be replaced by conscious orientation in love. The sudden release of power, as the polarity of the collective human emotional field shifts from outer to inner orientation, cannot be avoided no matter how smoothly we seek to guide the transition. All will feel an unmistakable surge of power in the instant of quantum awakening. This is as inevitable as the daily rotation of the earth’s continents into and out of the light of the sun.
But the effects? The implications? There is no way to predict them. They depend on the choices you make today. By extrapolating current trends of consciousness we can establish a probable range of effect. But there may be as many as eight billion people incarnate at that moment, each with complete freedom of choice. And though the choices each one makes in his or her lifetime prior to that moment will certainly predispose that person in one direction or another, there are no guarantees, no assurances.
The spiritual polarity of collective human consciousness did shift once before, triggering a reversal of the earth’s magnetic field, a shifting in the position of the poles, and a great deal of destruction. However, that shift was a shift from consciousness to subconsciousness.
We will have a degree of control during this conscious shift that was absent then and so do not expect the same sort of cataclysmic shock waves. Still it would be underestimating the variables to assume that earth changes will not accompany this event. Almost certainly some will. These will be for the most part of benevolent nature-a melting of the polar ice caps, for example, bringing rain to arid regions and helping to cleanse toxins from polluted lakes and rivers, a warming and simultaneous moistening of climate that will open to agriculture the extensive plains and fertile river valleys of Greenland, Antarctica, and certain of the world’s deserts.
To minimize the trauma of this moment for you and others of the human family, it is important that you prepare for it well ahead of time, establishing the habits that will leave your self-understanding fluid, relaxed., And trusting in the overall benevolence of the universe and its resident intelligence.
The best way to prepare for any future moment in time is be fully in the present moment now.
The only habit you must cultivate, though it may go against the programming and traditions of your society, is to allow your consciousness the relaxed flow of attention that brings you a clear and accurate picture of the phenomenal world and continuous awareness of the Eternal Presence from which it has unfolded. Such a state of consciousness will allow you to enjoy the rushing energy currents and heightened awareness that will sweep through the earth during the expansion of the nontime interval and will maximalize the stabilizing influence that radiates from you into your local surroundings.
Long before the moment of collective awakening there will have been established a sufficient core of people functioning on higher frequencies of awareness to enable the harmonic currents of their respective amplified radiations to displace the influence of those who may react in fear, both at the moment of collective awakening and beforehand. The frequency radiations or vibratory emissions of fear are not harmonious. Their effect on collective human consciousness increases at an arithmetical rate (1,2,3,4, etc.) for each additional person whose behavior is centered in fear, but they do not build in the kind of geometric progression (2,4,8,16, etc.) that is characteristic of the harmonic radiations of love.
Before the final instant of final awakening, the radiations of love will constitute the predominant vibrational influence on collective human consciousness, even while a numerical majority remains centered in the historical orientation. That condition is now very near. You who have motivated by love bring to bear on collective human awareness an influence much greater than your historical reason might suppose.
Individually you have an impact on the collective predispositions of your species far greater than that of those who are merely trodding the timeworn paths of self-centeredness. You who do your best to make your decisions out of love, who refuse to be controlled by the subconscious machinations of fear, who take time, if necessarily, in difficult situations to proceed slowly, consciously, lovingly, are truly among our own. Your awareness of these things will soon be in full. You are that upon which we can depend during the coming shift.
http://www.harpercollins.com/authors/1505/Ken_Carey/index.aspx
We are all going through a massive energetic shift, whether we believe in it or not, and whether we want it or not. We signed up for this the moment we decided to step into another human life and like most things we moan and groan about what our lives are bringing to us.
Part of this shift is seeing people we love simply drift away from us, and people we love dying all around us. I have had more deaths in my family and in my circle of friends than ever before in my life. I lost someone dear a while ago, and I am still trying to figure out why.
It is simple. Some of us decided to be part of this shift, and some didn’t. Those who did are us – the leading edge…. The others are not in vibrational harmony with us and they are happily living their own reality. And so you will find that those who are not in tune with you and your thoughts and the creation of this reality will gently (or not so gently) filter out of your life and drift quietly away to do their own thing.
It’s not easy to lose someone, but this is not loss. We need to remember that we are all One, that this is illusion, maya, and that this game is finite, while our true connection with one another is ongoing and infinite, and love never disappears. The love goes on. We simply play our game in the way we chose to.
I hope this helps.
