Toxic relationships and the Law of Attraction
The Law of Attraction has been taught, and in most cases is being taught, in such a way that it appears to have no connection points to general psychology – and general psychology terminology has become part of our language usage ever since therapy showed its face on our horizons.
It feels to a lot of folks that the Law of Attraction exists in a world of its own, a total break away from any other field that attempts to interpret human behaviour.
In fact, this is not true. The Law of Attraction simply describes the way the universe (we) bind incidents together, that which we use to construct our lives and the stories of our lives – it is a Law of Cause and Effect. It is compatible with any other rationale, can be integrated in any other way of thinking, is part of and the background of all that we are and do and have. And the ability to integrate the best of what we have believed with our knowledge of the LOA, makes us the complete beings we are.
Take the concept of Toxic Relationships. It has become apparent to me that in many cases, subscribing to what the LOA teaches has put blinkers on us, sometimes makes it hard if not impossible for us to realize that there are still belief systems in which we function, and that, just like steering clear of negative stuff in our lives, steering clear of toxic relationships and understanding why we attract those in our lives can be part of our picture, our growth, our unfolding and the learning of the lessons we need to learn in order to use those relationships to steer us clear of who we are not and towards who we are.
We choose our parents. Ouch. We know before this lifetime what we are coming to do during this one – we set up the scenarios and people and events that unfold before us like a play – and such it is, a play, our play, leading us to who we can be. And through the choosing of our parents, we also choose parents who do not teach us how to recognize bad relationships, who do not teach us how to keep ourselves safe, emotionally and otherwise. (And of course there is no real danger anywhere, ever.) And then their teachings (skewed as they are – resulting in adults who are naïve, trusting, unable to recognize red lights in other people, in relationships) and the way we emerge from them attract teachers who enforce these beliefs we hold, and on and on – the Law of Attraction in action.
And then one day we arrive at a place where all the stage lights go on – almost all at once – and we find a term which speaks to us, which illuminates the difficulties we are having in our lives – like Toxic Relationships – and the pieces of the puzzle fall into place. And we understand that those teachers who did not equip us with the knowledge to be able to navigate the seas of our life, who protected and coddled us and at the same time abused and crossed our boundaries – we were not even taught healthy boundaries – are our most important teachers because that is NOT WHO WE WANT TO BE – NOT who we are – and against the backdrop of that we suddenly understand what we came here to teach.
I am grateful to my parents, to every unbalanced unhappy relationship I have ever had, and I raise my glass to the fact that I have my headlights on now – that I can recognize healthy from unhealthy, and that I know I attract more of the good stuff, at last.
© Nina Ferrell 2009
Tags: growth, Law of Attraction, toxic relationships
This entry was posted on Saturday, September 5th, 2009 at 9:21 am and is filed under Articles - Nina, Law of Attraction. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
September 5th, 2009 at 9:33 am
Beautiful article Nina. Right on. Thank you for your Light.
September 5th, 2009 at 11:19 am
What a timely post…I have often struggled w/staying in a relationship because I feel guilty about my true feelings…that it is no longer healthy or no longer serves me for my highest good. Releasing a relationship that no longer works has been a tremendous challenge for me. Thank you for your words of wisdom.
September 5th, 2009 at 12:09 pm
Thanks Nina,
“I’m not going to do to my kids what my parents did to me.” Famous last words from the girl next door. Pregnant at 16, mother at 17, alcoholic mother again at 19 and 23. How did she raise her children? The only way she knew. One year older than me she died two years ago with her middle son, the sensitive one, preceeding her. We may indeed choose our parents or perhaps only our mother, but I am beginning to think there are karmic restrictions on those choices and proper parenting would have us ready for the world when we reach legal age.
Love and Blessings X 10,
Ed
September 5th, 2009 at 12:44 pm
Ed – I think that our understanding the lesson that is inherent in these situations is what releases us – and not karma…. Your thoughts?
September 6th, 2009 at 11:20 pm
Toxic relationships and the Law of Attraction | Nina Ferrell - Dhiren Shah’s Blog says:[...] the original post here: Toxic relationships and the Law of Attraction | Nina Ferrell :around-the-internet, attract-everything, being-taught, connection-points, general-psychology, [...]
September 13th, 2009 at 8:49 am
Funny, I am still, at 53 trying to resolve my parental relationship. I know Abraham-Hicks and have tons of tapes and books. So I am trying to resolve this.
When I was 7 I told my mother, she could not possibly be my parent (not mom, or mother, but parent), and I was sure THEY were coming back to get me…I was 7….is that just precocious…or pre-knowledge leaking out?
I left home a long time ago at 19 in the glorious 1970s. I stopped calling my parents cause it just ends up with me hanging up the phone, no matter how much I try to be a good sport.
In gratitude and appreciation, If they had not given me the contrast in my life, I would not be in the loving relationship I am in, or the wonderful state I live in, after traveling all of the USA to get away from them.
Somehow, I just feel like I need to understand something, and I am just not getting it. I am forgiving or feel I am, I don’t hate them, just can’t talk to them..they are very reactive, negative and old fashioned.
I do not understand how I can be in relationship with people that make me feel awful and just wonder why I should continue to try….YET????!!!!
They are 90 and will soon croak, as Abe says. Maybe we will figure it out then.
I typed in the keywords, Abraham-Hicks and toxic parents, cause tomorrow is Sunday and I don’t want to call them so I guess I was looking for others experiences…
September 13th, 2009 at 1:56 pm
Rebecca. . .We KNOW as children who we really are, where we come from.
I can say to you that the relationships we have with our parents came to be because we chose them to be so. . .we needed to be shaped into a particular personality in this lifetime to prepare us for what we came
here to do. The relationship you had with them will plague you until you understand how powerful you are, how important you are, especially, how amazingly you touch the lives of others. Much love,
Nina