Relationships – from No time for karma, Paxton Robey

Our function is to transform our relationships, not to fix them. We work only on ourselves, not the other person. When we are willing to play our relationship games by new rules, then they will be transformed. The new rules begin with, “what happened yesterday is irrelevant.” If we insist that we know how a person will behave tomorrow because we know how they behaved yesterday, we are insisting that our reality not change. The reason that people have to die and be reborn is because they refuse to change how they see other people. We are not looking at another person when we look at our partner. We are looking in a mirror. When we change our mind we change our relationships. There are no victims, there are no abusers, there are only mirrors.

When we refuse to repeat old patterns, when we refuse to attack or defend, when we would rather be happy than right, then other people change. Our relationships transform. If we have been true to our understanding of these principles of self creation, then we will not have to make an ego based decision to continue a relationship or dissolve it. That will take care of itself. The relationship will transform or disappear. The universe always moves us right along to the next experience when we have learned what the last one had to teach. Some folks are actually afraid to attempt a healing of their primary relationship because they think that if it were healed then they wouldn’t have an excuse to get out of it. They need someone to blame for the relationship breaking up. In fact, before incarnating, we make agreements with many individuals to resolve old karmic hang ups, or simply to learn more about self empowerment through our relationship with them. We may have a strong intuitive insight that this is not the person we contracted with to be a life-long partner. But we don’t need the excuse of a bad relationship in order to move on to our next assignment. We have an imperative to heal every relationship. Remember the illusion!

It is not someone else I am healing. It is not a relationship that I am healing. It is me I am healing! If I leave any of my relationships unhealed when I exit this lifetime, I will probably choose to come back and be in relationship with those same people again. Ouch. I heal others and my relationships not because they deserve it but because I deserve it.It may not be possible to heal past relationships face to face. It makes no difference if an old relationship partner is dead or living in another part of the world. Having the person to “talk it out with” may be the best way sometimes, but it is not the only way. The healing is for yourself anyway. Relationship healing can be done very expediently while sitting in your meditation chair all alone. Use mental imagery to “talk” to the other person. Ask forgiveness. Offer understanding. Remember that all anger which you may remember from days gone by was only a call for love.